Arini rasa cam nak marah sume orang.....

Serius...sangat-sangat tension sampai rasa cam bila orang cakap je...rasa nak penampar....

Ape sebabnya..aku sendiri pun tak tahu...

Dah lama tak rasa betul-betul happy....macam sume tu dah pergi jauh-jauh dari aku...

Mungkin sumenya berpunca dari aku sendiri...tak tahu nak arrange life sendiri...so that's why..everything ends up like now...

Nak mengadu pun tak tahu ngan sape..nak simpan sume sendiri pun rasa makin lama makin berat...

Dulu..time study..jauh dari rumah..jauh dari family..asyik fikir nak balik je.. But now...bila 24/7 kat rumah je...rasa kalau boleh nak lari jauh-jauh... "what i felt right now..really hard to explain...really complicated"



It's less than a month before my convocation...before fly to KK, Sabah...but I have no preparation...I feels like don't want to go... because I can't imagine how sad I am on that day...even i go there or not...I'm still sad.... seriously....I'm not that strong....and I'm tired of pretending like everything is ok...in fact...it's not....



But..no matter what...I need to be strong because "ALLAH is always there for me".....

OPICK-CAHAYA HATI

Allah engkau dekat
Penuh kasih sayang
Takkan pernah engkau
Biarkan hamba Mu menangis
Karna kemurahan Mu
Karna kasih sayang Mu
Hanya bila diri Mu
Ingin nyatakan cinta
Pada jiwa jiwa yang rela
Dia kekasih Mu
Kau yang selalu terjaga
Yang memberi segala
Allah Rohman Allah Rohim
Allahu Ya Ghofar Ya Nurul Qolbi
Allah Rohman Allah Rohim
Allahu Ya Ghofar Ya Nurul Qolbi
Di setiap nafas di segala waktu
Semua bersujud memuji memuja asthma Mu
Kau yang selalu terjaga
Yang memberi segala
Setiap makhluk bergantung padaMu
Dan bersujud semesta untuk Mu
Setiap wajah mendamba cinta Mu cahaya Mu....

I need some space...

Kadang-kadang sakit juga kalau semuanya kena simpan je dalam hati.....


Kan bagus kalau boleh lepaskan semua.......nak jerit kuat-kuat......

Wordless Wednesday.....

I just want to shout out loud.............



"SAYA KECEWA DENGAN DIRI SAYA SENDIRI............................."

HOPELESS

USELESS

NOTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Susah jadi orang susah.....

The title is so complicated.....and so the story....really complicated.....




Sebab saya susah....saya akan usaha untuk jadi orang yang tak susah.....




need to change everything.....I'm so tired of thinking about everything.....





Tak tahu nak cakap ape lagi....



Just keep jealous looking of others....hmmm....

Done...but why I'm not that happy??

YESSS.....I'm done bought my flight ticket...



Will fly to Kota Kinabalu, Sabah...on November 22nd....



Stay there about 10 days....and fly back to Kedah...home sweet home on December 2nd....




The reason I'm going there....hmmm....CONVOCATION.....





Yess.....it's my convocation....at last...after a really really tired and hard time for about 4 years....it's worth waiting.....eventhough.....still blur blur about the thing name "FUTURE".........




Don't know why....but feels like screaming......scream my heart out....


not because I'm happy....walaupun sepatutnya happy.....





I bought only 1 seat.....I got only1 ticket....oh no....it's not what i want.....





MY DREAMS JUST BROKE INTO PIECES....."hancur berkecai".....





I'm dreams of....for at least someone will be by my side during that precious day......'my convocation'......but....there's nothing I can do.....aaaaarrrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhhh...............






Even dah confirm will be there and will hold the degree...the scroll....by my own hand...but....seriously.....I'm not happy.....can't imagine that moment....."where people hug their parents, get many bouquet of flowers, taking pictures with family....while me......just standing aside and watching......and just imagine if only for once....I can have what they have....oh no......just talking about this....makes me crying.... T_T....

 

................Ya Allah....aku redha.....namun.....berikan aku kekuatan...sekuat-kuatnya.....untuk aku mampu lalui segalanya dengan tabah......... T_T

Full of story...

Only now I realize how ugly and how hard the outside world is.......


I want to be a student again....where I don't have to think about everything that I need to think now....so hard to breath....huhhhhh...... T_T





But no matter what...I have 'orang-orang yg baik di sekeliling sy'....feel bless....thanks to them...for at least..because of them....'sy rasa kuat...untuk berdiri atas kaki sendiri'....





I live in a family that full of problem...'I admit' it's not that easy... but Allah tu Maha Adil...Dia adakan untuk aku orang-orang yang baik yang sentiasa ada di sisi aku....syukur alhamdulillah......





My routine for these 4-5 months....eat..sleep..messaging...online...n on Sunday out for dating....haaahhhh...cannot imagine how bored my life is....




But there's one good news for me...I'm passed the JPJ test....nnnn my license is on the way...yaaayyyyyy......
October 5th...PASSED.... (hohoho....over)




So........today is Sunday...waiting for dating... :)

Love him... <3

Will update update lagi... :) 

p/s ; Today extra happy....thanks untuk Pza_Junsu and Bb_Turtle...for make my day....hug kamu kuat2..